On Forgiving and Moving Forward

Many people, myself sometimes included, seem to think that the way to correct mistakes and/or heal from broken relationships is to simply move forward and forget. While that may work sometimes, it's probably better to look back on the situation, evaluate the circumstances with honesty, determine the cause, humbly acknowledge faults that are your own, with equal (if not greater) humility identify the faults that were not yours, if possible and/or desired seek peace with the other person/s, and earnestly avoid the thoughts, words, actions, and attitudes that led to the rather sad and painful experience. If nothing changes in the formula, nothing will change in the results.

While I believe there are valid applications to the old "FORGIVE AND FORGET," I have also grown to believe more in "FORGIVE AND LEARN." While this could easily be interpreted as "I forgive you but I don't want to see you anymore," it is not what I mean. It is true that learning sometimes means having to cut people off from our lives, but I would take the phrase more to mean that we grow with our experiences, learning more about ourselves and about other people --our way of learning, their way of learning, how we adjust, how they adjust, how we react, how they react, how we are affected, how they are affected, our values, their values, how we can change, how we can help them change, what we want/need, what they want/need, etc. etc. and how all these can come together and help us become better than who we were -- more honest, more fair, less self-centered, more prudent, more balanced, wiser, kinder, stronger, humbler, more gracious, more faithful, more capable, with eyes that are more open to truth.

Where "I love you, you love me, let's just forget and move forward" may not work, "I love you, you love me; let's both learn and grow" just might. Come to think of it, that is the right kind of forward.

On top of all these I remember with gladness and assurance, "When God has His rightful place on the throne of the heart, the right place will be given to our neighbor." (Desire of Ages, 607)

A Sinner's Prayer: a work finally finished

This is a piece I found as I was going through my files this morning. Apparently, I began to write it in October 2012, but didn't get to finish it until today. The parts in red are those I wrote almost three years back; the ones in blue I put in only today to finish the poem. 

A SINNER'S PRAYER

My heart is sore within me

My knees tremble as I kneel

I've had my way, I disobeyed

But I feel empty still

Lord, raise me from the mire

This is my soul's desire

Take away my guilt and fear

Wash me, this is my prayer.

I don't deserve to face You

But there is no one else.

There is no good in running,

Or hiding from Your grace.

Lord, free me from my chains

Your grace I humbly claim

I ask, save me not from pain,

But cleanse me, Lord, from sin.

What amazes me and drove me to post this piece is how much I can still relate to the sentiment expressed in the unfinished poem, so much so that I could still pick up the thought and continue it. But more than that, I am more amazed at how much more of God's grace I have come to understand by study and experience in the three-year gap. 

I think today of 1 John 1:9,"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Jesus loves us so much that the forgiveness He offers is not just a pardon from the sinful act committed, but also a cleansing from the unrighteousness within that causes the wrong act/thought/deed/sentiment. I love how Inspiration puts it in the book Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing:

But forgiveness has a broader meaning than many suppose. When God gives the promise that He "will abundantly pardon," He adds, as if the meaning of that promise exceeded all that we could comprehend: "My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:7-9. God's forgiveness is not merely a judicial act by which He sets us free from condemnation. It is not only forgiveness for sin, but reclaiming from sin. It is the outflow of redeeming love that transforms the heart. David had the true conception of forgiveness when he prayed, "Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10. And again he says, "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12.

My Redeemer is indeed faithful and true. Praise God for His wonderful mercy and matchless grace!