a minute (or an eternity) later, i jolted to my knees and sleepily (very, very sleepily) whispered to God the contents of my heart:
...gratitude, foremost, for the beautiful families i have. families, yes, because i have more than one. people who love me, people who care, people who have been bearing with me, people i love, people i care for, people who make bearing with them worth it.
...requests. for blessings to flow more abundantly to and through these families. for wisdom and strength and courage - my favorite things to ask in prayer. for love and happiness (the immediate second favorites) - for myself and those that surround me. for relief - i know my heart and the hearts of those near me, and only God knows how much we need relief.
...pleadings. for God to give me a little more time. for Him to strive still with me and my rebellious heart. for Him to not grow weary with me yet, not yet. for God to work with the little faith i have, with whatever little righteousness remains in me, with whatever little good i still have in my heart.
...distress signals. that i be lifted from this miry place, cleansed, and made whole. emptied, washed, refined.
...embarrassment. that i could not stay awake long enough to speak with Him more.
i didn't have to open my eyes after i said "amen." i only dropped back onto my sleeping mat to await the break of day.
this afternoon, i received a text message from a much-loved friend asking me to pray for him and the choices he makes.
and perhaps more than ever, i am grateful that i have the privilege of prayer and, above all, that i have a God who hears each tiny whisper and is willing and able to answer.
i love this. :)
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