like Esther in her courage

Then Mordecai commanded to answer Esther, Think not with thyself that thou shalt escape in the king's house, more than all the Jews.

For if thou altogether holdest thy peace at this time, [then] shall there enlargement and deliverance arise to the Jews from another place; but thou and thy father's house shall be destroyed: and who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for [such] a time as this?

Then Esther bade [them] return Mordecai [this answer],

Go, gather together all the Jews that are present in Shushan, and fast ye for me, and neither eat nor drink three days, night or day: I also and my maidens will fast likewise; and so will I go in unto the king, which [is] not according to the law: and if I perish, I perish.

--- Esther 4:13-16 ---

Seekers

Okay, this is a first. And i doubt if there's going to be a second.

It was a choice between delivering the message and rendering the special music for midweek prayer meeting. Let's just say that Brian chose "music" for me.

The song is entitled "Seekers of Your Heart" and is normally a very wonderful and inspiring song. Here, it might have been entitled "Seekers of the Right Pitch."

And without further ado...

(by the way, the voice in the foreground belongs to my mother who was trying to help me.)

Later, Brian would tell me that he was a lot more nervous about my singing than he was about his giving the message. his palms got ice-cold!

But know what the watchword is? talents used are talents multiplied. ;-)

Last Night I Prayed

the alarm went off promptly at 12 midnight. i pushed a button, and the alarm shut up.

a minute (or an eternity) later, i jolted to my knees and sleepily (very, very sleepily) whispered to God the contents of my heart:

...gratitude, foremost, for the beautiful families i have. families, yes, because i have more than one. people who love me, people who care, people who have been bearing with me, people i love, people i care for, people who make bearing with them worth it.

...requests. for blessings to flow more abundantly to and through these families. for wisdom and strength and courage - my favorite things to ask in prayer. for love and happiness (the immediate second favorites) - for myself and those that surround me. for relief - i know my heart and the hearts of those near me, and only God knows how much we need relief.

...pleadings. for God to give me a little more time. for Him to strive still with me and my rebellious heart. for Him to not grow weary with me yet, not yet. for God to work with the little faith i have, with whatever little righteousness remains in me, with whatever little good i still have in my heart.

...distress signals. that i be lifted from this miry place, cleansed, and made whole. emptied, washed, refined.

...embarrassment. that i could not stay awake long enough to speak with Him more.

i didn't have to open my eyes after i said "amen." i only dropped back onto my sleeping mat to await the break of day.

this afternoon, i received a text message from a much-loved friend asking me to pray for him and the choices he makes.

and perhaps more than ever, i am grateful that i have the privilege of prayer and, above all, that i have a God who hears each tiny whisper and is willing and able to answer.